Rule #4- Go The Distance
Today I was looking around at all of my middle school besties admiring how close we’ve stayed through out the years, and then it hit me just how rare our relationships are. I mean its not everyday you feel the same way about someone at 19 as you did at 12. I’ve come to learn that long term friendships are like marriages. How I know that when I’ve never been married is besides the point, but just go along with it. When you enter the realms of a “serious” relationship or friendship whatever it may be, you’re bound to experience rough patches or periods of growth and change. Now you can either come out the other side or spend eternity going round and round in the same circle of the same arguments and jabs. Who knows maybe the friendship was only meant for a brief portion of your life. We so easily disconnect from those around us simply because we refuse to put in the effort to keep the wheels turning. So often you hear about high school relationships falling apart once the tassels been moved. Whether it be a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or your best friend— distance is hard, heck just going through different parts of life with someone right by your side is hard. No worries though, I of course have a tip or two or you know 8 to help you through it.
Soul Sista’s :
Be yourself. I have definitely found myself acting like an entirely different person simply because I thought thats how I had to act to have certain friends. Think about it, if you’re constantly pretending to be something you’re not for the sake of someone else–is it worth it? A strong and lasting friendship is built on honesty and trust. You’re true friends will love you for you, and you’ll want to be you around them.
Their Opinion vs Your Opinion
You can’t expect all of your friends to have the exact same views as you on everything. Where’s the challenge in that? Be open minded. They may like alternative and hate country, but that doesn’t make country bad. Respect their opinions, and they’ll respect yours. Surround yourself with a judge free zone.
Having a group of people that will let you sit and rant to them with complete attention is e v e r y t h i n g. Being able to be heard and understood by those you respect the most is beyond fulfilling and healing.
Now it doesn’t happen often, but one thing that’s blessed my friend group has been our “talking stick” interventions. Basically any time there’s been a legitimate issue, we all meet up and give each other a chance to talk about what’s bothering us. Everyone gets a chance to be heard. Talk about the best group hug ever.
Stay in Touch
The easiest way to lose touch is to stop interacting, so don’t. My friends from home and I legit talked to each other everyday my freshman year lol. Talk to each other as often as you can. Fill them in on your life, it’ll keep them apart of it.
Alright, so I realize it’s not common to keep the same friends for forever. You may grow at different speeds, different paths, and maybe for different reasons. Its okay to grow apart. It’s important to remember that everything happens for a reason. People were placed in your life for a reason. Maybe you needed them to get through something; maybe they needed you. No friendship is an accident. The lessons you learned could be pivotal for the rest of your life. So L E A R N from them. Don’t make the same mistakes, same patterns. I will say when you find the right people, you’ll know that they’re never going anywhere. The people that’ll love you through it all. The people that will laugh with you, cry with you, and the people that will sit and say nothing with you. You don’t have to see them everyday for them to stay your best friends. When you do see them, you’ll pick up just where you left off– almost like you were never apart at all, and it’s the greatest feeling. They’re going to challenge you, cherish you, hate you, love you, annoy you, best of all– They’ll change your life.
For all the “babes” :
Communicate, Listen, Be Heard
When it comes to any relationship, especially a long distance one, communication is key. Things said over the phone can so easily be misinterpreted. Take the extra time each day to make sure they know you’re thinking of them. DON’T EVER let yourself swallow whatever it is your feeling simply due to fear. Let yourself be heard loud and clear, and do the same for them.
One Win Isn’t Worth 1,000 Casualties
Don’t stress the minor details. Sometimes a battle isn’t worth the war if you know what I mean. It’s funny, I think we let ourselves seem pissed off or upset with our significant other over the stupidest things as a way of coping with the fact that we miss them. Don’t be stupid, tell them you miss them.
Enjoy Your Time
It’s easy to jam pack your reunions with fun filled adventures, but it’s important to just spend quality time with your person. It doesn’t always have to be about the bells and whistles. Make sure you truly love the person you’re with and not just the idea of a getaway weekend.
In the end, the distance can be worth it when it’s something you’d rather be doing as opposed to being without your person entirely. Don’t put yourself through the distance if you’re just doing it to say that you did it. Remember the big picture.
Friendships are hard. Relationships are harder. Being apart sucks, but surrounding yourself with the people that lift you up the most, the ones that make you better– is s worth it.
p.s. I love you squad 🙂