Hasta La Vista

Rule #3- Think About You

Alright ladies I know each of you reading this have definitely had your far share of heart break or struggled moving on from someone at some point, maybe even right now. Whether it be a celebrity that decided to marry his costar, John from Oozma Kappa who in fact is notactually single, or giving everything you had to a boy who changed his mind {thanks t-swift}, point is we’ve all been there in one form or another. I think we often feel like there couldn’t possibly be anyone else out there and in doing so we force ourselves to believe that things are working or that we can’t live without said person. Allowing yourself to let go is tough, getting yourself to take the necessary steps is scary, and the process can absolutely suck. Don’t worry though, I have a few tips to help you along the way.

Is It Time To Say Goodbye?

Listen To Your Girlfriends

Speaking from experience, I know it can be a big pill to swallow when your closest friends try telling you about how much your boyfriend may suck, but hear them out. These are the people that are solely looking out for your best interest and they are 9/10 times making some solid points. Personally, I think we get so defensive because they’re saying what we’re too afraid to admit. That being said it’s important for you to be able to realize that things aren’t okay on your own, just don’t hate your friends for being right in the process. #HoesOverBros

NEVER Become A Doormat

There is nothing worse than letting someone walk all over you. This can happen by the way they talk to you, the way they make you feel, or even the way they make you act. Speak up for yourself. Take a second. Constantly belittling yourself or altering what you stand for doesn’t have to be your reality. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to want to be needed back, to be missed. You’re allowed to be exactly who Y O U are no questions asked.

You Can’t Change Who They Are

Here’s where it gets legit people. They are who they are, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think we often make up this idea in our heads of who someone could be or who we think they should become. We put so much energy in telling ourselves that one day they’ll reach said potential, that we often lose sight of what the relationship has actually become. It’s okay for someone to be the wrong person, somewhere out there is the right person. Don’t waste your time holding onto the fact that things could one day be different. As much as you wish for someone to change the only one that can truly make it happen is them, so don’t pressure yourself.

Know Your Worth

Regardless of how you may feel or what you may think, you’re so worth it. Don’t let them make you believe otherwise. After hearing something enough we let ourselves believe what we’re told. We let boys get away with far too much, and for what? The title, the occasional feel good moment, or is it to subsidize our fear of being alone? Put yourself above it all. If you’re constantly doing nothing but making excuses for him, get the heck out of there. Boy bye.

How To Make It Hurt A Lil Less–

Delete All Contact 

It’s going to be impossible for you to get over somebody if you’re constantly seeing them on your feed, keeping the snap streak alive, and continuously responding in a meaningless conversation. How are you supposed to move on if they’re always in front of you? Out of sight out of mind. I know it may feel extremely extra but it’s totally okay to block them on EVERYTHING. When you’re ready you can go back and undo it all {or don’t}. You’ll be pleased to find yourself mindlessly scrolling past their pic instead of fully indulging in a box of cosmic brownies covered in your tears.

In Your State Of Mind You’ve Got Some Tears Left To Cry

Cry it all out. Stop for a snack and honestly just grab a roll of toilet paper…and then cry some more. I promise you’ll feel 1000 times better.

Moving On Is Okay

Boys will be boys, so let’s not have a complete meltdown when they move on before you do. Don’t stalk the new girl. Comparison is our greatest weakness. Just let it be. Yeah, I see you right now looking at her second cousins Facebook….knock it off.

What’s done is done

Part of moving on is letting go. Yikes. If you’re like me, you’ll let yourself sit and analyze every last inch of your relationships entirety. IT SUCKS BUTT PEOPLE DON’T IT. The past is the past, no sense in making yourself relive it with every mention of their name.

Treat Yourself

Buy those shoes you definitely told yourself you couldn’t afford a week ago. Change up your hair. Get that “revenge” body. Be your own distraction and stay busy. Do it all for you. Don’t focus your time on proving him wrong or showing him what he’s missing. Spend time on you and the latter will happen all on its own.

It Takes Time

Everyone heals in their own ways. Let yourself do it in yours. It could take you a week, an hour, or maybe a month or two. Regardless of how long it takes you, let yourself go through the whole process. Take it one day at a time. Just don’t rush into anything before you’re ready.

Now, all that being said I know not everything was bad. It’s okay to hold on to the good times as long as you remember the lessons learned through the bad. Break ups suck and getting your heartbroken is the worst. Take it all as a learning experience. Grow from what you did wrong. Understand how you want to be treated and hold yourself to it. Nothing wrong with a little bit of high standards and low expectations. If Carrie Bradshaw can get through a break up, not once but 28 times, you’ll come out the other side just fine. Remember they’re plenty of fish in the sea. Who knows maybe in losing him you’ll find yourself in the process.

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve. Break ups aren’t always meant for make ups, sometimes, they’re meant for wake ups.

RJ

  • Pics By ~ Brighton Forsgren

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